If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
