Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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