you win again, gameday.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
