Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
