when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
