Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
