We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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