This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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