loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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