I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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