you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
