We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
