Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
