I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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