please come you make the beer taste better
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
