Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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