so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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