It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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