At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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