i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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