'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
