how can u be prego again
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
