My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
