areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
