Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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