Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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