At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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