we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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