im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
