i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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