your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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