that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
When are your genitals available?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
