So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
