now i know why i became what i already was.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
