I think I am morally bankrupt
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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