there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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