been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
