why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
