My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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