You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
