WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
