That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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