I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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