He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
