i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
