the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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