What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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