That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm passing your future prison.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
