I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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