I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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