You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
