They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
