All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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